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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

My struggle with Weight Loss

So, Ive always had issues with weightloss and it got worse with my two pregnancies. The summer of 2002 I was in the best shape of my life (which ended up being the first summer I was with my husband) I was an amazing 135. I was a size 5 and loved the way I looked...I fluctuated between 135 and 140 for the next year but I didnt mind, I was so happy with the way I looked. In the February of 2004 I got pregnant with Jasmine and at my 8 week appt I weighed 156 lbs, which wasnt horrible since I was usually about 150 in the past. Thru out the rest of the pregnancy I just kept gaining and gaining due to my weakness to pepperoni pizza. I wanted it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Although i stayed relitively healthy, i ballooned to 215 pounds, which is what I weighed when I delivered Jasmine, and then let the true battle begin. Over the next year or so I got down to 170, I wasnt thrilled but happy to be on the way down and then i didnt lose anymore and that really bummed me out and had me on the verge of depression and I started gaining again, I than fluctuated between 185 and 190 until mid 2008. By the end of 2009 I had started losing again, and then I found out I was pregnant with Gabriel, which I was thrilled and scared about at the same time. I was so scared I was going to start gaining lots of weight again...The fear actually helped me tho in the pregnancy I was more aware of what I was putting in my mouth and paying more attention to the pregnancy. Also, with already having a child I was more active. All in all I only gained 32 pounds. I was 195 at my 8 week appt and I was 227 at delivery. By my 6th week post partum appt I had lost all of the baby weight and I was back down to 195. Over the last almost 20 months Ive tried to lose the weight and it seems like nothing motivates me to do it...I watch what I eat for a couple weeks and than I just want real food again and I cave, I work out for a couple weeks and even tho I know the change wont happen right away but I get frustrated when it doesnt and give up...I have a class reunion Memorial Day weekend and I want nothing more than to walk in feeling amazing again...Maybe if I hold my self accountable and post on here my progress it will help...So I guess Ill try that...

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